July 15th AM

I woke up early to get my gear in order and headed out toward Baxter where I was to interview Paul and Susan Beulieu, a father and daughter. I joined them for breakfast and listened as Paul talked about settling into a new home with his wife. Susan discussed her work with 4H that focuses on Native American Youth. After we ate, Paul and I sat down in the backyard for an interview.

I fiddled with the mic while Paul began to talk. Paul carefully led me through his journey into fear after coming home from the Vietnam War. After returning, he mixed fear, booze and anger for years as he struggled to make sense of the world and himself. Hearing Paul speak and feeling his presence across the table from me, I felt the radiating message inside my body - people need to be honored. Paul talked about his need to be honored as a Vet within the Native Community. I felt Paul convey his struggle to make sense of his experiences at war, the United States Government's treatment of Native Americans and learning to let go and trust. I heard the battle to focus on love even while he knows that love doesn’t always exist. Admist this painful story, Paul’s occasional smile was infectious and this helped to keep me with him.


After Paul, I sat down with Susan. She had been thinking about this question for a while, and right away knew what she wanted to talk about. She got me to pause with her as she remembered facing the decision to leave her boyfriend, after having her daughter at 19. Inside Susan’s words was a vivid picture of choosing the life she has, the impact on family and the power of owning a decision. In that moment it seemed that the presence of fear, could be a signt that you are about to catalyze yourself towards happiness.